Growing Up

I guess this is growing up.
Tear stained pillow every night, staring naked at yourself in the mirror, waiting for a text that will never come. Wishing for impossible things, like a thinner body or prettier skin. It's a vicious cycle of being too scared to help someone else, and feeling abandoned by everyone when they are the same. Growing up is feeling self conscious enough about yourself to break down crying in the school toilets, and the horrible panicking that comes when you realize you forgot your foundation at home. When your parents are screaming at you about your grades, and screaming at you because you came home drunk, and screaming at you because they hate your friends, and you just can't do anything right.
I don't think I'll ever know if it's just me that is passing time like this, so painfully, or if I'm just crying over something that everyone else can be brave about.